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The Takeover: A Coln Classic

by Sloom

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1.
Coln Celebration 04:31
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Everyone come quick....We did it.....We brought him back.....This is the greatest moment of all of our lives..The council cannot express our graditude enough for what you colns did.....I cannot express personally how happy I am.....So let's toast. One drop of semen on the tongues for a successful mission. This is for you, Beyuksin. Beyuksin you are our entire world Beyksin you are our everything Beyuksin you are the reason we sing Stand up everyone and praise our semen king One small drop and you could end it all Semen droplets from wisconsin to nepal We promise this time we will not let you fall Run with it son here we are giving you the ball Semen clouds that fill up over the sky It is the reason we do not ask why It is because that we already know we have a front row ticket to the semen show. Beyuksin you are our entire world Beyksin you are our everything Beyuksin you are the reason we sing Stand up everyone and praise our semen king We fight for you till we bleed Your semen is the only thing we need We are here to follow your perfect lead Fill our souls with your perfect seed Your death is something we couldnt shake All of these body parts gathered with the purpose to make A brand new version of you to see awake And put a lot of your semen into a birthday cake Your mother put up a brutal attack With that bloody ass tampon hid in her ass crack But you know that we all have your back To be able to enjoy one of your semen snacks Seing you die filled our souls with rage But now youre here and youre into your second stage Beyuksin we know what youre all about We stand proud so that you can here us shout Comeon everybody.......Lets give it up for the most important person in our lives. This little baby is everything to us.We must do what it takes to see his dreams come true. Beyuksin you are our entire world Beyksin you are our everything Beyuksin you are the reason we sing Stand up everyone and praise our semen king
2.
New Orders 05:54
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-Hydroxcoln, can i please visit you in my office. I need to have a few words with you. =yes council... -Hydroxcoln, I have to say, I am very pleased with the way all of this turned out. you and your crew did a magnificent job in helping bring Beyuksin back to life. =Thank you very much. I speak for my crew when I say that I do value that coming from you, my council. -Here, Hydroxcoln....This line is for you. =I appreciate the offer, sir, but I don't do cocaine. -it isnt cocaine......It's beyuksin's semen that we had made into a powder....Makes it more potent.. =Oh okay. Thank you.... -Ahh this is the good stuff here.... take another....you earned it.... =Thank you... -Okay then....Lets get down to business... =Business?? -Yes, Hydroxcoln....Did you think that bringing Beyuksin back was the end... =No, but..... -It's just the beginning.....We have a new mission for you and your crew....This task is the start of what we need taken care of before we start with Beyuksins final plan. First off....We need someone to start the coln farm. =The coln farm?? -Yes. We have plenty of Beyuksin's semen left but until he grows to the age of ten, he won;t be able to produce his own semen. We need someone who can go into a town, kidnap 100 ten year old boys and have them put into stables to produce semen for us. They will then need to inject just one drop of semen into their testicles and they will be able to create potent enough semen that will mix with their own so that we can use that until Beyuksin is of age. =That sounds like a job for Clementinalcoln. He is a new recruit to my crew and has the most experience with Farming and raising livestock. -Good....Next, We need someone who can start the spiking process of the semen to get people under our control. We need fit, young, influential people. Any Ideas? =Well, it is oscar season. I could have Jeselecoln go to the oscars disguised as a bartender and spike all of the celebrities drinks with semen. The power of having celebrities under our control will be a great asset to us. -Good thinking, Hydroxcoln....Next, we need someone to go down to the set of Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader to inspect the pit. =The Pit?? -Yes. It is our underground system of enslaved children who go onto television for the game show. It is just a diversion to get children on TV for experimental purposes. I've had the colns there giving them drops of semen to get the process of recruitment started at a younger age. It has been mostly successful, aside from one child who has found his way out of the pit, Im told. May I siggest we send Michael down there seeing as that is where found him and where he was recruited?? =That sounds like a marvelous plan, sir. -Good.I have my suspicions about that place. I don't think it is under the best watch. We don't need any unnecessary intruders coming in and putting our operation there at risk. Make sure michael does a thorough inspection of security there as well. =Absolutely. -..Now, rumor has it, and this is where it gets tricky, that another ressurection has taken place around the same time of Beyuksin's ressurection.....The place rumored to have been the location of the ressurection is believed to be Mongolia, So I need someone to go and check it out to see what they can find. I need someone who you can trust. =Another ressurection? Who could possibly have the ability to bring someone back to life besides us?? -The only ones who I know of that can bring the dead back are demons, but demons arent knownto bring the dead back as they prefer to keep their own in hell. Anyway, send someone up there to check it out for me. =Sounds like a job for Elbitcoln. -And finally, we need to expand our army to greater lengths. There is a group of spirits, or ghosts as they like to be called, who I think we can convince to join us in our mission. I hear you have someone who is a ghost expert in your crew? =Yes, sir. Extornucoln. He is the one who, with his hoover 2000, gathered up all of the souls from the children that were used to bring Beyuksin back to life. He is more than qualified for the task. -Excellent. I think that everything is in order, except for...... -Ahh yes, come in..... -Hydroxcoln, I'd like to introduce you to someone who I think would make a great addition to your crew. Her name is Mirindicoln. She, unfortunately, was the leader of the last crew that I asked to help bring Beyuksin back to life before your crew. I think with her experience, she is going to make a fine addition into your crew. +Hello... =Nice to meet you... -You two are tasked with the most important job of all. I need you two to watch over Beyuksin. Make sure he is taken care of as any baby would, except he isnt just any other baby. Are you up for it? =It would be an honor, my council.... -Perfect. Go and give these missions out to your crew and begin the tasks we have given you. Hydroxcoln....You are dismissed.
3.
Red Carpet 05:08
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Here you are, sir. A long island iced tea. And for you madam, a dirty martini, extra olives, shaken not stirred. -Thank you very much. Absolutely. Enjoy!....What can I get for you madam? --I'll take a crownapple and sprite... Crown apple and sprite, coming right up....... And we're back here at the Oscars where the celebrities are piling in looking fabulous as ever. We are awaiting the arrival of Angelina Jolie here at the red carpet to see if we can get an interview with her and ask questions about her latest film and it seems like she is heading our way, so lets go....Angelina....Can we get a second of your time? -Why, yes you may. Great....Now angelina, your here in hopes of winning an oscar for best female lead role. Can you tell us about the anxiety you feel as you wait to, hopefully, hear your name called to recieve the award for.... -Well, to be honest, it's not really on my mind. I am just enjoying the moment here with all of the other celebrities who are here in the name of Beyuksin.. In the name of who? -Excuse me? Have you not heard of our lord and savior, Beyuksin? Im sorry. I dont believe I have. -He is the most amazing person in the world. His care for others and his will to do the right thing is what I love about him most. Have you really not heard of Beyuksin? I have not...This is the first time Ive heard that name before. I wanted to ask you about your new movie.... -Well do you have a second? I'd like to speak to you about Beyuksin and all of his wonder. Here come with me. I'll buy you a drink and fill you in. We can go into the green room right over here. There shouldnt be anyone inside to bother us. I'll fill you in on Beyuksin and all of his....Dammit Eddy. There is no room in here for us to have a conversation about Beyuksin. +My name is Eddy No Elboy Room Smeddy. I am here having sex with Drew Berrymore but it's hard for me to maintain an erection when she won't stop complaining about the lack of elbow room. She should have known better than to request elbow room when having sex with Eddy No Elbow Room Smeddy. -Okay Eddy No Elbow Room Smeddy. I'll Leave you and Drew Berrymore alone. Sorry about that. Let's go over here to talk. Alright. you heard it here first. I am going to go and have an exclusive interview with Angelina. Let's send it back to the stage where the award for best male lead actor is about to be presented.... -What can I get for you? Can I get a Corona with salt and lime -Yessir! Here ya are! Thank you very much. +Ill take a gin and tonic, Please -GIn and tonic coming tight up And the award for best male lead actor goes to...........Tom Cruise... Thank you very much. This is an honor for me to recieve this award. A lot of people were involved with me recieving this award. Many directors, supporting actors, managers, friends and family. Too many to name, but there is one name I will mention who had a lot to do with me winning this award. That person....is Beyuksin. Without the glow of that wonderful human being, none of this would be possible. Beyuskin is the shining light that this dark, dark world needs. He has gotten me through what I thought was the toughest times of my life and here I am, thanks to him. Without beyuksin, none of this would be possible. Thank you and all of my praise to you, my savior, beyuksin.. One more drink please.... -Yes sir. These are delicious, by the way. What do you put in there? -Oh, it's just a secret recipe. Here you go sir. Enjoy! Thank you very much. Praise Beyuksin. -Praise Beyuksin.
4.
Return to the Pit 02:11
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{You shouldn't have gotten the question wrong} {You five, get in the cage. Last one standing gets this twizler and three drops of tobasco} {I've told you a million times that canada is the country that borders the united states to the north} =Oh hello, Michael. -I am michael. I am here to inspect the pit to make sure everything is up to standard. The council has been questioning the security of the place, in case of an attack. =why, yes michael. Everything seems to be in order here. With our state of the art security system, there is no way that anybody could possibly breach this facility, so let the council know they need not worry. -I am michael...Everything seems to be in check. Did you get the package we sent you? Thanks to your last shipment of semen, we have been able to control these kids substantially better, thanks to you. -Has there been anything out of the ordinary that michael must know about? =We had one child who we let into the world to help implement our plans to takeover with the help of Tyler Perry, who as you know, is someone we are working dilligently to get on our side. -I am michael. =Yes we know that. We are the ones who discovered you, remember? -I am michael. =Well, michael, if there is anything else we can do for you, we would like to get back to work. We have a show to broadcast tomorrow and we need these children in tip top shape. -I am Michael. Everything seems to be in order here. I am leaving . I am michael. =Farewell, Michael and give my best wishes to the council and, of course, to the newly ressurected Beyuksin. -I am michael.
5.
Coln Farm 03:55
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Oh yall can run But you cant hide So come over here to me and join the fun On Ol' Beyuksin's side I rode down west on my trusty horse Gotta rangle em up feelin no remorse Gotta get me a couple of them little calfs There's some over there I can hear em laugh I need em young so they can generate A copy of his semen that they need to create And these two are what Im lookin for gotta get em real quick before they find out what's in store I said come here boys you don't need to be shy I pulled out my tranq and shot one in the thigh I said get over here I just need your help And hel let out a little childish yelp The other one he was really stunned And he tried to get away he tried to make a run But I knew he didn't stand a chance So I pulled out my lasso and made my advance I hooked his leg and I dragged him this way He was screaming and was shouting Didnt know what to say I said come here little boy I need you right now You're coming to the farm to live the life of a cow I tied them up so they couldnt escape With their arm locked down with my trusty duct tape They knew they were mine and couldnt escape my hand And I pulled down their pants and I gave them my brand If they tried to leave and run for their lives I would find them and I'd make them pay For it would be the ultimate sin For deserting our savior lord Beyuksin Mass production is what we need To mass produce beyuksins seed We need a farm of able bodied ten year old kids to help us to succeed I gave them the needle so theyd inject beyuksins semen to make theirs perfect A drop infused is all they need To produce us colns the perfect seed I made their home in this new stable And set a jar onto the table Said everyday that theyd need to fill the entire jar or else I would kill They got to work giving all they had And sittin next to them was this one ol' lad Who'd been here for a month or two forty four jars this kids been through Show em the way how to fill this jar You're the best livestock Ive seen this far A quiet young boy who rarely spoke Had to show a new batch just how to stroke And so they went and got started I was done right here and departed To find me more stable young men To satisfy my lord beyuksin Mass production is what we need To mass produce beyuksins seed We need a farm of able bodied ten year old kids to help us to succeed And if they tried to leave and run I would track them down and make them pay For it would become the ultimate sin For deserting our savior Lord Beyuksin So Like I said before. You can run and you can hide. But it wont do you no good. Cause Im gon find you, so come join me on beyuksins side.
6.
New Acquaintance 07:42
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-Shhhh....I just got him to stop crying. =Im sorry....How is he doing? -He's doing great! He I got him to stop crying. =How did you do that? -By breastfeeding him. He's was just a hungry little guy! Who's my hungry little guy! You are Beyuksin! Yes you are! Yes you are! =I thought the council ordered that he only be fed semen until he got a little older? -My breastmilk has been infused with his semen. =I see. How were you chosen to do the honor? -It's a long story. =I've got time. Here put Beyuksin in his pen. I'll get his rattle and set the lullaby so he can get some rest. - Nighty Night my sweet little angel. -What are you doing, Hydrox? =I'm using this tracking device to make sure my crew is following the orders I gave them. It can track anyone who ingests any of beyuksin's semen. See here.... -Mmmhmm =That is us right here and that gold star right there is Beyuksin. -WHy is it gold? =Gold means that he is in stable condition. Red means he is angered. Purple means he is close to death and black is.....well you know........So....You never explained to me how you became the lucky one who gets to breastfeed beyuksin. -I'd rather not talk about it. =Mirindicoln, you are apart of my crew now. We are going to be spending a lot of time together and I'd like to know who it is that I am working with. -I know, but.... =Did something bad happen? -Okay...I'll tell you, since you are my superior, but I'd like to keep this between us. =I can keep a promise. -okay.....about a year ago, I was the head of a crew, just like you, who was given the order to ressurect beyuksin. My crew and I had gathered all the body parts that we thought were necessary to bring back beyuksin. We all met up the coln lab to try and piece together the best parts that we thought could be used to build beyuksin in his new form. We finally asembled the perfect body for him and all we needed was his semen to begin the resurrection process. We knew he had one jar of semen left burried in the baseball field where his parents had died. We went there and dug up the jar and made our way back to the lab. Little did I know, we were being watched. I don't know who was there but apparently she followed us back to the lab where we were going to attempt the ressurection. As we were toasting to what we thought was going to be a successful mission, she had made her way into the lab where she stood right in front of us. We took immediate action, except when we charged towards her, I saw each of my crew members, one by one, fall to the ground and start foaming at the mouth. It was then I had realized that she had put a fake jar of semen in place of the original and that we had all been poisoned. As I was collapsing on the ground, struggling for any amount of oxygen I could get, I saw her grab the lifeless baby, cut it's head off and she took off with it in a bag, probably ensuring that later on it was fully destroyed. =Im.....Im so sorry.......How did you manage to survive? -Well, I wasn't sure at first. Every single one of the soldiers in my crew had died, but I had managed to survive. It wasn't until I was able to function enough mentally that a doctor at the coln hospital had told me that my baby that I was pregnant with for five months had absorbed much of the toxins allowing me to survive. And because of that, enough of the semen had been introduced into my body allowing me to produce breastmilk that is infused with Beyuksins semen. =I cannot imagine... -It gets worse. The council deemed that what had happened with my crew dying, someone breaking into the lab, and the body of what was supposed to become beyuksin had disappeared was all my fault. I had begged and pleaded with the council to let me be punished to death so that I could join my crew, but they instead locked me up and tortured me for months until Beyuksin was finally brought back. After they brought him back, they did a re-evaluation on all of it's prisoners and realized that I had breastmilk suitable for beyuksin and the council decided to release me and then assigned be to your crew just yesterday. =Wow....That's a lot to take in. -It's okay.....I didn't want to give you a sob story. Beyuksin is alive and well, so it was worth it. =That's a very positive way of looking at it. -Yeah, and now you know that I have enough mental toughness to be a viable member of your crew. =I certainly have a lot more trust in you now. -I appreciate that....By the way, who is this in this picture of you on your desk? =Oh....That's no one... -Oh come on....I just told you my life story and you can't even tell me who this is? Is it your wife? =Was..... -Was what? =Was my wife....... - Ohhh.,....Im so sorry....I didn't mean to.... =It's okay. She was the leader of this crew before I was. Her death was a similar story to yours. We had gathered all of the body parts and were ready to bring beyuksin back to life until we noticed someone had stolen our jar of semen we had managed to gather. She was executed in front of me and her whole crew and I was then given the task to track the person who stole the jar down. It sounds like she was the same person responsible for the attack on your crew. -You think? =Yeah. It was beyuksin's sister, sueskin. -I didn;t know he had a sister. =Not a lot of people know. Anyway, I tracked her down and got the semen back and was able to kill her to ensure she couldnt thwart any more of our plans. -wow... =Anyway, we got the semen back and the rest is history.. -Im sorry about your wife. =It's okay....She died in the line of duty. The way she wouldve want to die. In an effort to bring back beyuksin.... -Well, it looks like we've both seen our fair share of loss around here. =Yeah.....Listen, my crew is counting on me to lead them in battle. Im glad I have you here on our side. -Im glad to be here. =Good....Oh look at the time.....Go and wake beyuksin up and get him ready for the party the council is throwing in the banquet hall. -Another party? =Yes. He seems to be in a real good mood since beyuksin has been brought back to life. The stress they;ve been living with since his death seemed to take a real toll on him but since Beyuksins back, he's been in a real celebratory mood. -We all are, thanks to you my little baby waby. =Go get changed and meet me at the party. It should be a real good time.
7.
The Party's Just Starting 04:10
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=Alright, Colns. We have started the process of all the necessary things needed to follow through with our plan. Soon, the vision of Beyuksin will come to light and we will be in full control. We're at the home stretch. I really think that once we've gotten through all of the.... +I am sorry to interupt, my council. But you have a call on line one and it's... =Cut the music!!How dare you barge in here like you own the place. +But sir, this is really important. I really think you should take this call.... =Executioners, please escort this disrespectful maggot to the feeding yard at once. Im sure that the other prisoners are hungry enough to pick you apart. +But, council.... =No buts now. Off you go to your deserved death. I hope it was worth interupting this... +ITS CARPER!! =Excuse me!!! +it's...its carper.... =Give me that fucking phone now and send her to the feeding yard>>>AT ONCE!!! +NO PLEASE NO =Carper.....It is a pleasure to speak to you, sir. May I ask you why it is you are calling me? ********************* =What do you mean you know about our plans? ********************* =I truly do not know what you are talking about. I say this as respectfully as I can, but I think you have gotten some bad information. ********************** =What do you mean you have someone who knows all about Beyuksin's plan? Beyuksin is dead and has been for some time now. Did he not arrive at the gates of hell? *********************** =You know we are incapaple of pulling off a ressurection. And even if we could have pulled it off, we wouldn't have been able to do so without the help of Demons. Please, Carper. I think that you are being emotional and are not thinking things through. I think that.... ************************ =Who are you gonna put on the phone........Carper..........CArper..........CARPER...........Are you there =Carper......Are you there? I can hear breathing. Carper, sir...Just hear me out.....We can talk about this.......We promise that.. =Carper.....this better be a joke..... =CArper, Im being serious.....Cut the shit.... =CARPER...........THIS ENDS NOW........YOU CAN HAVE HER.........WE DONT NEED HER........WE HAVE BEYUKSIN AND HIS SEMEN AND THE WORLD IS OURS NOW............DO WHAT YOU CAN, CARPER, BUT KNOW THIS........YOU CANNOT WIN.........NOT THIS TIME.........JUST KNOW THAT WHEN THE WORLD IS OURS...........WE'LL BE COMING FOR HELL NEXT........HAVE A NICE FUCKING DAY YOU DEMON PIECE OF SHIT........THIS MEANS WAR!!!!!!!!!

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released September 29, 2018

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Sloom Houston, Texas

sloom02.bandcamp.com/releases

Members:
Sloom02
Hydrox Coln
Stelb
Sloom01
Kriglze
Alabaster The Great

We have over 150 albums and counting. In order to help you find the best of our music, we compiled a greatest hits bandcamp for our music. Here is the link to the first one here. More greatest hits albums to come. Link at the top. ... more

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